February, hello there. 2014, please slow day a little.
I had all sorts of plans for getting my planned posts scheduled for Monday morning, but I’ve been feeling quite sick since Sunday. I haven’t been to work, and spent the last few days comatose in bed. I’m pretty sure I was only awake for around three hours total today. I’ll be surprised if I can fall asleep at a normal time tonight. I swear, whenever I’ve got my motivation back to do just about anything, I get sick. (Dear universe, sometimes you are a pain in my ass. Love, me.)
January was certainly a whirlwind of days spent getting organized for 2014. Should’ve probably spent December doing so, but my pretty planner didn’t arrive until mid-January. So, here I am, finally feeling organized and with a office/studio all cleaned up. FINALLY. I swear, my office is a constant work in progress, and I’m always feeling like there isn’t enough room in it. You see, it doubles as an office and closet. You can imagine how filled it is considering I’ve got my wardrobe in addition to all of our vintage stock. So, I’m constantly scouring the internet aka Pinterest for creative ways to store clothing and shoes. I just have too much stuff. Did I just admit that? Actually the trunk of my car is filled with clothing and shoes to donate and put up for sale on Instagram. Maybe this weekend will be for photographing and listing some pieces.
The last few weeks have been filled with gorgeous weather in Florida. While everyone was covered in snow with below freezing temperatures, us Floridians were enjoying weather in the 60s-70s. It actually got around near the low 40s and I had to run to Home Depot to pick up a space heater. Sadly, it only lasted for 2 or 3 days. However, February is usually the coldest month in Florida, so I’m hoping for a few more chilly nights to roll in.
I feel like I just spent the last fifteen minutes writing a post about all my reasons for procrastinating. Haha. I’m going to go queue up another episode of ‘Murder, She Wrote’ and get to Pinterest to finish up my “February Vibes” mood board.
While I am not a massive fan of making resolutions, I do have a lifestyle/wardrobe related goal in mind.
My goal for this year is to be more daring…with my wardrobe, my life, and just myself as a person. Sounds sort of superficial, but it goes much deeper than just wardrobe choices. I promise. I think the clothing is just an exterior outlet for this goal to shine through. That sounds so odd, I know. I will try to explain as best as I can without sounding like a rambling idiot.
Growing up, I was definitely one of those teenagers who didn’t give a fuck about what others thought about the way I dressed, the way I looked, or the choices I was making. I just wanted to live my life, look how I wanted, and move through life at whatever pace I thought was best. I took great pride in having this outlook on life. I wasn’t shy, I was extremely outgoing. So much so, that I once went on a two month trip to Israel with a group of people that I didn’t know. However, at some point in my late twenties, I started to become more concerned about what others thought about me and I became way more introverted. I developed this shyness and almost fear to be myself. (Teenaged Betsey is totally rolling her eyes at me right now.) Some may say this is a part of being an adult, but I have to disagree.
In my opinion, it feels like at some point I just lost myself. I forgot who I was anymore. I can sort of pinpoint when it began to happen, and it correlates with a terrible relationship that I was in at the time. As I look back on it, I began to play this character, a person who I thought my boyfriend wanted me to be. In doing so, I lost my identity. I don’t blame that person for that though. That would be ridiculous. I am only to blame for letting myself go like that. But, that’s neither here nor there, because three years later it’s up to me to find my way back to my true self.
In embarking on this path, my first goal is going to be more daring with my wardrobe. Sounds so silly, I’m sure. But, truthfully, I’ve gotten stuck in this place where I’m looking at other people’s outfits in magazines and on blogs for inspiration, and that’s really depressing. At least to me. I used to never let anyone’s ideas on fashion and style dictate what I wore. I would just wake up and throw on whatever struck my fancy that morning. Whether it was a wild dress from the 60s or some jeans and a band shirt. I didn’t care. It was about feeling good about my choice, and not letting anyone’s fashion opinions change that.
I have this closet full of vintage dresses that I never wear, and that’s absolutely disappointing. I constantly find myself attracted to these wildly colorful and patterned polyester dresses from the 70s and something just holds me back from wearing them. So, I’d like to get myself out of this rut and just go for it. Fuck it. I’m so tired of changing a million times before choosing an outfit. Because, that really is never about my own feelings, it’s more about what someone else might think of what I select. I used to never do that. I’d pick out the first thing that called out to me and ran out the door. I really want to break this cycle because as superficial as one may think it is, your clothing is really an artistic expression of who you are as an individual. I really do believe that and I want to actually get back to the roots of being ok with my true self. And if taking the first step toward that is through my wardrobe, then that’s what I’ll do.
Thanks for listening to my little rambling session. That’s what blogs are for, right?
Another week of January under the belt, and I’m still blogging! I’m going to keep adding new features as the month goes on.
- Got lost in DSW for a solid two hours on Sunday. I did come home with some pretty amazing shoes for under $50
- The temperature in Florida finally dipped down to 40 degrees! Definitely a reason to bust out the Mickey Mouse footie PJs
- Celebrated our two year anniversary
- Decided it was time for a hair color change. I still need to tone it a bit and get it lighter.
- Crazy for nail decals. Scored the Revlon by Marchesa ones for 50% off at ULTA
- Broke my toe this week. . . boo
Follow me on Instagram @BetseyJ