Well, I did it. At midnight I grabbed my sister and we went to go see The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part I on opening night. Are you surprised? You shouldn’t be. Obviously by now you know of my love for those Cullens. And naturally I have a whole lot to rant about….

Warning….Spoiler Alerts after the jump. Do not pass go.

The wedding.
Basically a dream come true. Well, the decor and aesthetic portion of it. The awkward dialogue and Bella’s annoying hesitation while walking down the aisle was a bit over the top. However, the hilarious speeches and toasts definitely made up for it. Jessica’s antics  absolutely killed me, as did Charlie’s. So awesome. Oh and the wedding kiss, I love how they made the guests disappear leaving only them at the alter. But the awkward slow dancing while everyone else was having fun was kind of lame. Also, that vampire bitch who was angry about Laurent, she was an amazon. On the downside, I wish they would have spent more time on the planning portion of the wedding, and leading up to it. As opposed to just showing Bella awkwardly walking around in those stunning heels.

The wedding dress.
O M G. Fucking flawless. Now, I’m not usually a fan of long sleeve dresses at all, but oh this gown was so absolutely beautiful. Designed by Carolina Herrera, the dress took 6 months to complete, and it exceeded all my expectations. Although the dress was simple, there were so many beautiful details that made it so perfect. The buttons all the way down the sheer back, the way it fit her body like a glove, it was just so gorgeous. I love how they revealed the gown ever so slowly too, building up to the final showing.

Edward’s hair.
Too fucking short. Way too short. And what the hell is with that dye job? Not feeling it.

The sex scene.
What a fucking rip off. I’m glad to see that the Twilight trio felt the same way as well. PG-13 standards, yeah yeah. Get over it Hollywood. If I was a mother, I wouldn’t even want my tweenager anywhere near the Twilight Saga. (You can read a little about why that is here and here.)

Isle Esme.
Gorgeous. I want to live in that house.

The honeymoon.
A bit depressing. Some funny parts, but watching Bella throw herself at Edward a dozen times was slightly offensive. However, watching her getting ready to go swimming was hilarious. But the water scenes looked a bit too green screen and CGI for my tastes.

The birth scene.
It was definitely gross, but could have been taken to the next level. Once again it was heavily edited for the rating. Kristen Stewart agreed that she was disappointed in it too, since during the filming she “went crazy Exorcist style with her acting and screaming.” Albeit, it was pretty intense to watch Edward bite Bella over and over again on different areas of her body. Also to see him wipe his blood covered face after pulling out the baby, pretty good.

Bella’s transformation into a vampire.
I liked how nostalgic this was, cutting back to old scenes from prior movies. Also watching the venom pump through her veins was pretty neat. The drinking blood from the straw was pretty cringe-worthy — in a good way of course.

Bella’s Vampire Eyes.
H O L Y F U C K. I loved it so much.

Where they ended the movie.
Honestly, I  thought it was perfect. It leaves you hanging, but not too much, plus we already knew she was going to turn into a vampire. I originally thought they were going to cut it before the pregnancy scene, but I’m glad they did not.

Complete review of the film.
I loved it, but I’m not sure it has been my favorite installment so far. (I really need to go back and watch the other 3 to decide.) I know I shouldn’t expect much from the dialogue but there was a lot of really awkward one line conversations that were painful to sit through. The first half of the film was a bit slow, and lacked emotion. I think they needed to explore more of that mental and emotional anguish that Bella struggles through when deciding about becoming immortal. Jacob’s emotional outburst were a little too over the top, and not so believable. It’s hard to transfer emotion from a book to the screen, but director Bill Condon should have tried harder. He removed too much and relied heavily on sappy music and pretty visuals,  leaving a good portion of the film quite mentally lifeless. Bella’s depression and emotional turmoil was definitely expressed better in New Moon.

But, with all that being said. I’m glad I went to go see it and I still have so much love for The Twilight Saga. I’m just hoping that Part II is a bit more action packed and gives the perfect amount of closure. At the end of the day, the books are so much better.

P.S. – I want golden eyes.